<nettime> You spammed.

[Pit Schultz <pit@contrib.de>]

http://www.visi.com/~drow/spam/what.html 
                  
  You do not get it. I will tell you. I hope you will get it.

  You spammed.

  We do not like spam. Spam is bad. Spam hurts the net. We like the net.
  So we do not like spam. In fact, we hate spam.

  What is spam? Spam is the same thing lots and lots of times.

  What is lots and lots? We will not tell you. Why? We think you might
  post one less, and then say it is not spam. But we will tell you this:
  count the things on your hands and feet. It is near that.

  What is spam not? Spam is not a bad post. Spam is not a bad post lots
  and lots of times. Spam is not a post in the wrong place. Spam is not a
  bad post in the wrong place lots and lots of times.

  Spam is the same thing lots and lots of times.

  We do not care what is in a spam. We do not care if it is in the right
  place or the wrong place. If we cared, that would be bad. If we did not
  like a post, we could say it is bad, so it is spam. Or we could say it
  is in the wrong place, so it is spam. That would be worse than spam. So
  we say a thing is spam if it is the same thing lots and lots of times.

  One more time: spam is the same thing lots and lots of times.

  Why is spam bad? The more times it is there, the more room it takes on
  each site's disk, and the more time it takes to get it to all of the
  sites. It should take just a small bit of room on each site's disk, and
  take just a small bit of time to get there. So spam is a lot of waste.

  Why else is spam bad? The more times it is there, the more times we
  have to see it. Some folks pay for their news by the note, or by the
  byte, or by how much time it takes them to get it. Some have to pay for
  each post in a group they read, and their site does not care if they
  read the post. So spam is not fair.

  Why else is spam bad? Spam makes folks mad. They post notes and say
  that they are mad. Lots and lots of notes. We call these notes
  "flames." So spam makes lots and lots of flames.

  Why is a small spam bad? Some folks think that if a small thing is not
  bad, then the same thing big is not bad too. So if a small spam is not
  yelled at, then there will be lots and lots of big spams.

  What did you do? You sent the same thing lots and lots of times. So you
  spammed. Spam is bad.

  We do not care what you said. We do not care if it was in the right
  place. You sent the same thing lots and lots of times. That is spam.
  That is bad.

  Some folks like to get rid of spam when they see it. We think that is
  good. We like them. We think they are good.

  When they get rid of spam, they get rid of all of it. They do not try
  to think if some of the posts are in the wrong place and just get rid
  of those ones. That would be bad. As bad as to say that a post is spam
  if they did not like it. No, they get rid of all of them. That is the
  right way to get rid of spam.

  Not all folks think we should do this. There are a few, like Dave
  Hayes, who think spam should be left there, that we should all be free
  to spam and spam and spam. But there are lots and lots more who think
  spam should be got rid of.

  Why are we mad at you? You spammed. But there is more: when we said we
  were mad, you said you did not spam. And you said few of us were mad.
  And you said your spam was not bad because it was in the right place.
  And you said that we should not get rid of it. Or that we should not
  get rid of the ones in the right place.

  You said you will do it no more. We do not know if we think that is
  true. Why? You said things that we think are bad. You did things that
  we think are bad. So we do not trust you. We think you might do it the
  next time you think of a thing you want lots and lots of folks to hear.
  How can you make us think you will do it no more, and that you are good
  folks?

       (1) Say that what you did was spam.
       (2) Say that what you did was bad.
       (3) Say that you feel bad since you did this bad thing.
       (4) *Then* say that you will do it no more.

  Then we might trust you. Then we might not be mad at you.

  That is not too hard for you to get, is it?


[from   : The Historical Spam Museum and Archive
 save as: standard_spam_reply.txt
 contact: drow@visi.com ]

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