Steve Cook on Sat, 8 Nov 1997 17:00:35 +0100 (MET) |
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<nettime> parabol |
i was walking along the street on my way to meet a friend. coming towards me was this deliveryman.he was carrying a huge basket of burger rolls, so big he could hardly see over the top.as he went past McLawyers he sort of turned his head away and spat. then he tripped over this little brown dog that was on the other end of a piece of string from a human and did a kind of hop and a swoop and began running down the street trying to regain his balance. it's hard enough trying to get your balance unburdened by anything and this poor guy had this huge basket of bread, in his arms, pulling him down towards the ground. he ended up running like the wind, not losing his footing completely but not coming upright either. i watched the guy, he was like a sprinter lunging for an ever receding tape,and i knew instinctively how it was all going to end. he was heading straight for me so i stepped aside and as he passed, i legged him up....and he went down like a sack of spuds, his face in the basket of bread, onto the pavement. so i go over all sympathetic and help him pick his bread up and scrape some of the grit and dogshit off the bread that had spilled into the road. one of the buns had been run over by some sort of megatread mountainbike and had deep diamond shaped pits across a band of sesame studded grey paste. the little brown dog, trailing its string, nabbed that one, and i helped him carry the rest up an alley and round to the rear entrance of McLawyers. we took another eleven clean buns out of the basket, stuffed one up the exhaust pipe of a BMW parked in the managers personal parking port and lozzed the other ten into the back yards of the adjacent businesses. he took the buns in, exactly a dozen short due to some sort of mix-up at the bakery and got some wedge. it turned out that they wouldn't let him use the front entrance and since he couldn't get his van up the back alley, he had to park at the front on double yellows and walk round. this was because of two words tattooed on the first two fingers of his right hand - the manager type who had issued this decree was standing in the window of McLawyers as the guy got out of his van - hence the gob, hence the dog, hence the dogshit.he bought me a pint and we both went off to meet my friend. ----- End of forwarded message from Steve Cook ----- --- # distributed via nettime-l : no commercial use without permission # <nettime> is a closed moderated mailinglist for net criticism, # collaborative text filtering and cultural politics of the nets # more info: majordomo@icf.de and "info nettime" in the msg body # URL: http://www.desk.nl/~nettime/ contact: nettime-owner@icf.de