ventsislav zankov on Mon, 15 Feb 1999 10:22:25 +0200 |
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Syndicate: '10 years later' pro |
To the visitor 'The experience is like a lantern, that you carry on your back: it throws light over what you have left behind' (Confucius). How about all of us that left behind socialist regimes . . . do we feel that our experience is useless. The regimes fell apart . . .how about the past we shared? Do we still feel the life in the Block, behind our back? Did we, or may be we did not take part in the operations under the Warsaw treaty? Do we know each other well enough to turn our backs to one another, with our eyes fixed into the West (still sharing a common direction)? The wall that we are trying really hard to erect between our past and present, isn't that the shadow of the absurd Berlin Wall that we furiously tore apart? And our dearest parents, did they simply led their empty, useless lives, that will soon come to their little empty ends? And the women we loved, did we love them? Why not make a cross over them all and just ignore them? And make the cross three times, just in case XXX . . . here we go, neat and tidy, . . . free of our shameful past . . . free of our own selves, . . . like little, stupid, happy zombies. Do you buy this? Or may be give it one more TRY: To the Warsaw Treaty with Love Ten Years Later Ten years later the traps of change finally got us: we have changed. Our collective memory cheats us now and then, and we can't help that: we used to be 'comrades' to each other, after all. . . we had to. This aggressive 'brotherhood' we have went through, 'was meant' to get us closer together; it turned out, however, that we are worlds apart. . . . aliens to each other and applicants to the West. What happened to us? Is it that our memories have turned bleak and useless, or maybe our past feels like yesterday papers? It was only yesterday that our mammas and papas, our grannies, our precious 'us' lived together in 'our communist system' and shared the rumors that the West is the land of Dreams Come True. The dreams we did not dare to voice. . .We still have lives that we shared, after all, we served together in the Warsaw troops, we learned together our lessons in Russian, we had our summer Black Sea holidays together . . . and we did not know each other . . . did we? The changes we went through did not help much to know better . . . we the Easterners, headed on our winding way to EUROPE, everyone of us on their own way towards their own trap, can we face each other now and kiss goodbye? Can we make one last effort to share our first love turmoil, our student years and army service, our holidays and work leaves, our socialist past that history turned down. It is our blood and flesh in there, deformed by the common denominator of the former regimes. Ten years after their collapse, these years have entered the records of history: how about us? . . . the traps of change finally got us . . . Our long winding way to Europe . . , communist past as our starting point, Western democracy as the destination, . . . English proficiency is a must, . . . this is our last chance to grasp our past, free of politics and ideology, to hold our past lives, to share them . . . to kiss them good buy and meet each other . . . at last. http://www.nlcv.net/1945_89 Ventsislav Zankov freelance artist&lecturer New Bulgarian University Sofia contact address: 1. Pleven str., Bl. 87, entr.A 1618 Pavlovo Sofia Bulgaria phone/fax (00359 2) 56 96 82 e-mail vzankov@mont.nbu.acad.bg venci@osf.acad.bg http://www.photone.ch/zankov http://www.photone.ch/ispace "Ten Years Later" Project http://www.nlcv.net/1945_89